What talking therapy/counselling is and what it isn’t

Counselling, or talking therapy, is an opportunity for a client to speak to an uninvolved third party, a stranger at first meeting to them, who will simply listen to them and let them tell their story, listen to their thoughts and feelings, and be able to sit comfortably without judgement and interruption to the client’s despair, hurt, pain, confusion, bewilderment, and confusion.

The counsellor will not give advice, they will not tell you what to do (if they are good, ethical and professional counsellors). The counsellor is not there to ‘fix’ or heal you; they are not there as an expert; they will not talk over you or interrupt your ‘flow.’

They will listen to you, without judgement (sometimes referred to as ‘unconditional positive regard’); without ‘masking’ who they are (referred to as being ‘authentic’ so you see the real person who is the counsellor); and they will empathise with you (which means walking alongside you, in your shoes, without being wholly subsumed into your experience so that they can sustain professional objectivity).

You are the expert on yourself – the counsellor is there to let you speak, share and be heard without judgement, and to help guide you towards a resolution within yourself that you are fumbling for and to help you come to terms with what is hurting or causing you distress. Counsellors sit with others’ suffering without judgement, without recoiling, without being shocked, without walking away. They walk with you, helping you to find the way forward.